Sexual abuse prevention with teens? Yes. Teenagers can still be sexually abused by adults that groom them. Uh, teachers are category pastors are category youth pastors are a category that I see a lot. Um, people that are influential in their life have access to them and, um, are charism. That's what we want them to.
You want to continue to kind of pay attention to like, is my teenager spending a lot of time with this adult and does it seem like they're developing an intimate relationship in a way it's a little off and having those over explicit conversations with your teens, Hey, are you feeling comfortable with that person?
Does it feel like they're developing romantic feelings for you? Are you having that feeling? No. Okay, good. Let me know if you do, cuz that would not be good. Right. , but the most likely place for a teenager to experience sexual abuse and sexual trauma is in the context of their peers. So this is an age when we really wanna be driving home the idea of enthusiastic consent, right?
You should feel a yes, please. When you are engaging with your peers, whether that's holding their hand or going on a date or. They want to kiss you or go to the next base, whatever the thing is, you should feel excited. Yeah, you might feel a little bit of nervous, but the nervous should be about this big.
The excitement should be about this big, right? And you should be looking for that in the other person that you're engaging with. Um, it doesn't matter if you say yes at first and then you say no. So that's called a continuous consent. Making sure they know that they can say, ah, I said yes at first, but now I wanna stop.
I changed my mind. That is okay. Um, That if something was to ever happen, you would always believe them and you would always help them get it figured out. And no matter how messy and com complex it was that you as the adult would help them navigate it, that there are resources besides you. So if they, if they feel like they don't want to come to you about it, that's also okay.
Here's some resources for you so you can let your children know. Here are places you can go if you need help, if something ever happens and for whatever reason you don't want to come tell me, but you can always come. But if you don't want to, that's also okay. Those are really important messages to send to our teens so that they can get support and help and that something happens.
Um, conversations around being realistic with them, showing them statistics on assault and letting them know, Hey, this is what you know, happens out in the world. It's possible. These are things that make you more vulnerable. Like if you are in a setting with a bunch of people you don't know and you're doing drugs or drinking, that might make you more vulnerable.
It doesn't make it your fault. Be really clear about that. . If you are anywhere, ever and you feel unsafe, I will come pick you up. I don't care what you've been doing that's wrong or bad, you won't get in trouble. If you reach out and you say, help, I will help you and we'll figure it out. Um, and having explicit conversations with them if they want to.
Hey, do you have any questions about anything about sex? You can ask me anything. How things work, what's okay, what's not okay? The different things about your body. Give them access to educational programs. You can find lots of programs online for educating teens about pregnancy prevention, STD prevention, um, all of the things.
But you're creating a dialogue. You're remaining calm, you're not freaking out about it. Your child being a sexual being is a normal thing. You are, they are. There are people that identify as asexual. That's a different category, but it is not perverse or abnormal for your teenager to have sexual feelings and want to engage.
romantically inclined, affection and touch. So make sure that they feel that from you, because if they don't feel that from you, they're gonna come to you about anything and then you have way less influence on how they believe they should be treated and what's expected of them, et cetera, etcetera. Good luck out there.