Trauma is terrible for everyone. But for some folks the trauma lingers and lingers long after an event or season ends and infects their ability to process the trauma and feel like it has ended (PTSD post traumatic stress disorder).
The reason for this is rooted in attachment experiences.
If a person is given empathy and compassion during their upbringing when they were in pain (emotional and physical) they learn to do the same to themselves when they are in painful situations as adults.
But if a person is raised in relationships where pain is given blame or meaning "well that's what you get!" "Maybe now you'll learn" etc Then there is an instinct to believe they caused the trauma, or could have prevented it, or worse...deserved it.
The healing process in that case always involves editing out guilt, blame and shame that don't belong in a scenario where you were powerless to stop a tragedy and then allowing the natural grief and anger and fear that were true to the experience to come out.
Let your littles feel their feelings in your arms so that they don't believe that pain is punishment and can weather the storms of life believing that bad things happen to good people without any meaningful reason. Trauma is in it's nature unreasonable.
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Learn how to regulate your emotions and offer calm and compassionate support to your child when they are upset, even if you experienced childhood trauma or lack of emotional support from your parents, in this insightful video that emphasizes the importance of parking your inner child in a safe place, attending to their needs, and returning to being the parent your child needs.
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In this video, learn how to practice emotional self-care by setting healthy boundaries with people in your life who are unable or unwilling to respect them, and how to recognize that it's not cruel to spend less time with them in order to protect your peace.
In this video, you'll learn how to treat emotional pain with the same level of compassion as physical pain, and why showing empathy towards someone's emotions is crucial for their well-being.
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