Trauma is terrible for everyone. But for some folks the trauma lingers and lingers long after an event or season ends and infects their ability to process the trauma and feel like it has ended (PTSD post traumatic stress disorder).
The reason for this is rooted in attachment experiences.
If a person is given empathy and compassion during their upbringing when they were in pain (emotional and physical) they learn to do the same to themselves when they are in painful situations as adults.
But if a person is raised in relationships where pain is given blame or meaning "well that's what you get!" "Maybe now you'll learn" etc Then there is an instinct to believe they caused the trauma, or could have prevented it, or worse...deserved it.
The healing process in that case always involves editing out guilt, blame and shame that don't belong in a scenario where you were powerless to stop a tragedy and then allowing the natural grief and anger and fear that were true to the experience to come out.
Let your littles feel their feelings in your arms so that they don't believe that pain is punishment and can weather the storms of life believing that bad things happen to good people without any meaningful reason. Trauma is in it's nature unreasonable.
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Self-hatred is a product of insecure attachment and other traumas, but the first step towards self-love is to grieve and open up to the pain present in your attachment relationships and to see yourself in a new light.
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In this video, you'll learn how our relationship with our children can reveal areas in our lives that need care, including past traumas and present issues, and how taking a pause to reflect on these triggers can lead to personal growth and healing.
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In this video, you'll learn how chronic anger and irritation could be a sign of unresolved trauma in your nervous system, and how processing those stories and finding safe spaces to feel grief and powerlessness can be the cure.
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