Many mothers (and fathers and other caregivers) aren't equipped to give their children secure attachment experiences. They only know to pass on the pattern of relating they received from their caregivers.
Acknowledging this reality doesn't dishonor your parents, or mean that you aren't grateful for all they tried to do for you if.
You can still accept the love they could give and give yourself permission to heal from the insecurity you also inherited from them.
When we let ourselves grieve our attachment wounds, we get to move forward and find more secure people and love in more secure ways, breaking the cycle for the next generation.
(For those of you who know your parents intended you harm, you may have had parents who were sociopathic and it is ok to not want to say "they did the best they could" in your process. Parents intending harm is not the same as trying to do you right but having no clue how ...I see you.)
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In this video, you'll learn how chronic anger and irritation could be a sign of unresolved trauma in your nervous system, and how processing those stories and finding safe spaces to feel grief and powerlessness can be the cure.
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In this video, you'll learn that the forgiveness process after abuse is not about reconciling with the abuser, but rather about untethering yourself from the abuse and reconciling with yourself, by grieving, acknowledging, releasing, and remembering who you are.
A message to all fathers: keep going with your efforts to connect with your children because they desperately need to see what a healthy, connected, caring male looks like, and it will create a secure attachment that fosters resilience.
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