Many mothers (and fathers and other caregivers) aren't equipped to give their children secure attachment experiences. They only know to pass on the pattern of relating they received from their caregivers.
Acknowledging this reality doesn't dishonor your parents, or mean that you aren't grateful for all they tried to do for you if.
You can still accept the love they could give and give yourself permission to heal from the insecurity you also inherited from them.
When we let ourselves grieve our attachment wounds, we get to move forward and find more secure people and love in more secure ways, breaking the cycle for the next generation.
(For those of you who know your parents intended you harm, you may have had parents who were sociopathic and it is ok to not want to say "they did the best they could" in your process. Parents intending harm is not the same as trying to do you right but having no clue how ...I see you.)
If you didn't have a secure attachment style in childhood, you're not alone. Here are three phases of healing you can work through to change your patterns of relating and build new, secure relationships.
Learn how to break the cycle of generational trauma and cultivate a secure attachment relationship between you and your child by doing the healing work that you can, trusting the next generation to keep it going.
Learn how to help your child navigate difficult and necessary medical procedures by staying calm and present, and using the opportunity to teach them about emotions and show empathy and support in this informative video.
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