The forgiveness process after someone has abused you is not about reconciling yourself back to them, or to a compassionate idea of them.
It's about untethering yourself from the abuse and it's impact on you and reconciling yourself back to yourself.
If you feel bitter and resentful it is likely because you haven't fully forgiven yourself for being powerless. Not because you haven't found deep compassion for your abuser.
Grieve, acknowledge, release and remember who you are instead of trying to understand the person who abused you. That's their job.
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Avoid focusing too much on fairness when teaching kids, as it can create a belief that good behavior is always rewarded and bad behavior is always punished, leading to the dangerous belief that they deserve any trauma they experience, instead use relational motivation to guide them towards making good choices.
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This video discusses the importance of self-love as a radical stance in a world that often encourages self-sacrifice, and emphasizes how loving yourself is a necessity for taking care of your body and self in a world that won't always do that for you.
Learn how to break the cycle of generational trauma and cultivate a secure attachment relationship between you and your child by doing the healing work that you can, trusting the next generation to keep it going.
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