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The forgiveness process after someone has abused you is not about reconciling yourself back to them, or to a compassionate idea of them.
It's about untethering yourself from the abuse and it's impact on you and reconciling yourself back to yourself.
If you feel bitter and resentful it is likely because you haven't fully forgiven yourself for being powerless. Not because you haven't found deep compassion for your abuser.
Grieve, acknowledge, release and remember who you are instead of trying to understand the person who abused you. That's their job.
Learn how acknowledging and releasing your meta feelings can help complete the stress cycle, as explained in this insightful video about the importance of emotional processing and attachment relationships.
In this video, we learn how attachment experiences can affect the way we process trauma, with empathy and compassion being key to healing and preventing feelings of guilt, blame and shame that can linger long after an event has ended.
This video discusses the importance of self-love as a radical stance in a world that often encourages self-sacrifice, and emphasizes how loving yourself is a necessity for taking care of your body and self in a world that won't always do that for you.