Many mothers (and fathers and other caregivers) aren't equipped to give their children secure attachment experiences. They only know to pass on the pattern of relating they received from their caregivers.
Acknowledging this reality doesn't dishonor your parents, or mean that you aren't grateful for all they tried to do for you if.
You can still accept the love they could give and give yourself permission to heal from the insecurity you also inherited from them.
When we let ourselves grieve our attachment wounds, we get to move forward and find more secure people and love in more secure ways, breaking the cycle for the next generation.
(For those of you who know your parents intended you harm, you may have had parents who were sociopathic and it is ok to not want to say "they did the best they could" in your process. Parents intending harm is not the same as trying to do you right but having no clue how ...I see you.)
Supporting a trauma survivor's felt safety means being present with empathy and patience, providing a space of safety to help calm their dysregulation and offer them a secure and grounding attachment relationship.
.webp){kind=avatar}
Discover how to build a closer relationship with someone who has an avoidant attachment style by understanding their fear of burdening others with their emotions and needs, and by showing up for them in small ways in this compassionate and insightful video.
.webp){kind=avatar}
In this video, you'll learn about self-gaslighting, which is learned from attachment relationships where someone taught you to constantly question your body, reactions, and views on reality, and the importance of acknowledging the trauma and learning to trust your own needs.
%402x.svg){kind=icon}