When our attachment relationships (partners, kids, parents, "my person") involve someone who has lived through a trauma nightmare (or 20)...we need to know the difference between safety and FELT safety.
Trauma f's with a survivor's nervous system and makes it harder to feel safety even when safe.
This is where a secure loving attachment figure is key...you can lend your grounded nervous system to this person by being present to their fear and dysregulation with an empathetic and calm stance. Offer patience and compassion and as they ride whatever wave of panic they are surfing by being WITH them and not pressuring them to feel safe, but being a safe person for them to feel unsafe with.
Eventually your relationship will be a space of safety in a world that is trigger happy to your loved one.
.webp){kind=avatar}
Learn the importance of letting go of small things in healthy relationships, and how to use the "F#ck it bucket" to differentiate between minor annoyances and larger relational patterns in this engaging and practical video.
.webp){kind=avatar}
Learn why it's vital to your children's health for you to connect with the adults in your life and model close, mature relationships, and how investing in your own attachment needs is essential to fully caring for your children in this insightful video.
.webp){kind=avatar}
In this video, learn how to practice emotional self-care by setting healthy boundaries with people in your life who are unable or unwilling to respect them, and how to recognize that it's not cruel to spend less time with them in order to protect your peace.
%402x.svg){kind=icon}