One of the most challenging obstacles to taking care of ourselves is asking for what we need from people in our lives who are unwell in their interpersonal patterns.
When someone is unable or unwilling to respect our boundaries they often accuse us of being harsh, or unreasonable, or cruel.
But just because they accuse you of it, doesn't mean it's true.
If you have asked someone to treat you better and they haven't, it isn't cruel to spend less time with them. It's emotional self-care. It's cruel to continue to engage in hurtful behaviors when someone asks you to stop.
I hope all of you in these situations get time during the holidays where your peace is protected from the abusive mindsets of the people in your life who have not yet put in the work to learn safe, vulnerable ways of connecting.
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In this video, learn about the risk of relapse for individuals who have been abusive in the past, and the confusion surrounding whether someone has truly changed, as well as the importance of recognizing true change, moving on, and being aware of the signs of abuse.
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In this video, you'll learn how chronic anger and irritation could be a sign of unresolved trauma in your nervous system, and how processing those stories and finding safe spaces to feel grief and powerlessness can be the cure.
Supporting a trauma survivor's felt safety means being present with empathy and patience, providing a space of safety to help calm their dysregulation and offer them a secure and grounding attachment relationship.
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