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When someone has been abusive in the past they are at high risk for relapse. It is also confusing to know if someone has truly changed because the abuse cycle includes a honeymoon that masquerades as change but is really just
the relief that comes after a big eruption.
True change is quite remarkable. And takes a ton of time and concerted efforts.
AND even if someone does change, it's ok to move on and wish them well.
Remember that the disease of abuse is highly infectious and makes it extremely hard for people to heal. Not impossible, but not probable.
The signs though will be evident!
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Avoid focusing too much on fairness when teaching kids, as it can create a belief that good behavior is always rewarded and bad behavior is always punished, leading to the dangerous belief that they deserve any trauma they experience, instead use relational motivation to guide them towards making good choices.
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In this video, you'll learn that an abusive mentality is one of the hardest addictions to kick, with only 5% of people who seek treatment making meaningful changes, due to the intertwined nature of childhood experiences, strong justifications for the behavior, and the need for vulnerability and accountability to heal.
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In this video, you'll learn how chronic anger and irritation could be a sign of unresolved trauma in your nervous system, and how processing those stories and finding safe spaces to feel grief and powerlessness can be the cure.
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