Hating yourself is a result of insecure attachment (and additional traumas from peers, the dominant culture and toxic ideas about bodies and success).
You don't hate yourself because something is wrong with you. You think something is wrong with you because you were taught to hate yourself. (Aka no one knew how to teach you to love yourself)
The first step to self love is grief, not improving yourself. It's opening up yourself to grapple with the pain present in the story of your attachment relationships. And seeing yourself with new eyes. You weren't ever unlovable, no part of you was. But you did likely have caregivers who didn't know how to love you in the ways you needed. (And also hated themselves).
Healing now is about radically loving and accepting yourself exactly as you are. And as you do, you'll be amazed at how many things you can love about yourself. So so many.
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In this video, you'll learn about self-gaslighting, which is learned from attachment relationships where someone taught you to constantly question your body, reactions, and views on reality, and the importance of acknowledging the trauma and learning to trust your own needs.
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This video discusses the importance of self-love as a radical stance in a world that often encourages self-sacrifice, and emphasizes how loving yourself is a necessity for taking care of your body and self in a world that won't always do that for you.
As parents, we want to protect our children from harm, but threats of violence may not be the best way to do so. Instead, we can be a refuge and a barrier for our children, offering comfort and support in times of need.
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