1.

Why You Pick Fights With People Who Are Good For You

No items found.

This is the abuse cycle: honeymoon>tension  buildup>abuse/eruption>apologies/calm-after-the-storm>honeymoon again

When you have lived the cycle of abuse, you have internalized the cycle. Especially if that cycle was present in your childhood relationships.

This can lead to a confusing pattern in your adult relationships.....you may not feel comfortable when things are good with safe people.

That is because your body is anticipating the tension and then the abuse ....so you may find yourself starting to pick fights to "get it over with".

You don't like the fight/abuse, you just hate waiting for it.

Instead of using a blow up to get to the calm after the storm, use your storytelling ability. Share your painful stories with the safe people in your life and let yourself grieve. It will bring rest without the mess.

!7maZdGQE

Join the Attachment Nerd Herd

Complete access for $29

Similar to what you just watched

How to Learn a Secure Attachment Style
01:29

In this video, you'll learn about the three phases of healing - reflection, grieving, and growth - that those who did not inherit a secure attachment style can work through in order to learn and earn a secure attachment style.

View
You Cannot Hate Yourself into being Someone You Love
01:28

Self-hatred is a product of insecure attachment and other traumas, but the first step towards self-love is to grieve and open up to the pain present in your attachment relationships and to see yourself in a new light.

View
How to Help Someone Navigate Shame Effectively
01:20

In this video, you'll learn the shAmeBC's for helping someone you love navigate the painful emotional state of shame by acknowledging their feelings, buffering them with calmness and presence, and connecting with them in an authentic human way to help them feel worthy and not alone.

View