This is the abuse cycle: honeymoon>tension buildup>abuse/eruption>apologies/calm-after-the-storm>honeymoon again
When you have lived the cycle of abuse, you have internalized the cycle. Especially if that cycle was present in your childhood relationships.
This can lead to a confusing pattern in your adult relationships.....you may not feel comfortable when things are good with safe people.
That is because your body is anticipating the tension and then the abuse ....so you may find yourself starting to pick fights to "get it over with".
You don't like the fight/abuse, you just hate waiting for it.
Instead of using a blow up to get to the calm after the storm, use your storytelling ability. Share your painful stories with the safe people in your life and let yourself grieve. It will bring rest without the mess.
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Learn about the way trauma is remembered in the body, and how implicit memories can be just as real and impactful as explicit memories in this informative video.
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In this video, you'll learn that if you struggle with big emotions and tend to withdraw, you may have grown up with an anxious-avoidant attachment style, but that this can be worked on by learning to tolerate your own feelings and be present when emotions arise, leading to beautiful connected moments.
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Learn how to support your child when they feel jealous with these 3 essential steps - empathize, regulate, and guide - to help them understand and cope with this normal and complex emotion, in this insightful video.
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