This is the abuse cycle: honeymoon>tension buildup>abuse/eruption>apologies/calm-after-the-storm>honeymoon again
When you have lived the cycle of abuse, you have internalized the cycle. Especially if that cycle was present in your childhood relationships.
This can lead to a confusing pattern in your adult relationships.....you may not feel comfortable when things are good with safe people.
That is because your body is anticipating the tension and then the abuse ....so you may find yourself starting to pick fights to "get it over with".
You don't like the fight/abuse, you just hate waiting for it.
Instead of using a blow up to get to the calm after the storm, use your storytelling ability. Share your painful stories with the safe people in your life and let yourself grieve. It will bring rest without the mess.
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In this video, you'll learn about the three phases of healing - reflection, grieving, and growth - that those who did not inherit a secure attachment style can work through in order to learn and earn a secure attachment style.
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In this video, the speaker debunks myths of romance and emphasizes the importance of respecting boundaries and avoiding coercion in relationships for genuine intimacy to flourish.
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In this video, you'll learn that because we identify with our attachment loves, we are more likely to treat them the same way we treat ourselves, and that being more gentle with ourselves can lead to more kindness and generosity towards the people who matter most.
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