This is the abuse cycle: honeymoon>tension buildup>abuse/eruption>apologies/calm-after-the-storm>honeymoon again
When you have lived the cycle of abuse, you have internalized the cycle. Especially if that cycle was present in your childhood relationships.
This can lead to a confusing pattern in your adult relationships.....you may not feel comfortable when things are good with safe people.
That is because your body is anticipating the tension and then the abuse ....so you may find yourself starting to pick fights to "get it over with".
You don't like the fight/abuse, you just hate waiting for it.
Instead of using a blow up to get to the calm after the storm, use your storytelling ability. Share your painful stories with the safe people in your life and let yourself grieve. It will bring rest without the mess.
.webp){kind=avatar}
Discover why worthiness is not something to be earned but rather a birthright, and how trauma survivors can overcome feelings of unworthiness and fully enjoy their lives and the world around them in this inspiring and empowering video.
.webp){kind=avatar}
Learn about the two sources that drive the desire to always be around people, natural extraversion and trauma response, and how recognizing the latter can help you find rest in solitude and process past relationships in this insightful video.
.webp){kind=avatar}
In this video, you'll learn why it's important to process and heal your childhood stories in order to raise children who are securely attached to you.
%402x.svg){kind=icon}