This is the abuse cycle: honeymoon>tension buildup>abuse/eruption>apologies/calm-after-the-storm>honeymoon again
When you have lived the cycle of abuse, you have internalized the cycle. Especially if that cycle was present in your childhood relationships.
This can lead to a confusing pattern in your adult relationships.....you may not feel comfortable when things are good with safe people.
That is because your body is anticipating the tension and then the abuse ....so you may find yourself starting to pick fights to "get it over with".
You don't like the fight/abuse, you just hate waiting for it.
Instead of using a blow up to get to the calm after the storm, use your storytelling ability. Share your painful stories with the safe people in your life and let yourself grieve. It will bring rest without the mess.
.webp){kind=avatar}
Learn why it's vital to your children's health for you to connect with the adults in your life and model close, mature relationships, and how investing in your own attachment needs is essential to fully caring for your children in this insightful video.
.webp){kind=avatar}
In this video, learn how the care and responsiveness children receive from their caregivers can impact their ability to recognize and communicate their needs as adults, and how healing from a lack of emotional support in childhood involves acknowledging the wound, speaking your needs, and committing to giving yourself the care you deserve.
.webp){kind=avatar}
In this video, you'll learn that human beings are wired to co-regulate, and that words like "come here" or "I am here" used with gentleness and compassion can be deeply soothing and help our loved ones know that their emotional needs are not a burden to us.
%402x.svg){kind=icon}