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Because we identify with our attachment loves (kids, spouses, parents, best friends etc) we are more likely to treat them the same way we treat ourselves.
If you find it easier to be kind and generous with strangers or acquaintances, it is likely about your own lack of self compassion, not something with your loves.
Try being more gentle with yourself and watch what happens with your instincts towards the people who matter most.
Learn the importance of letting go of small things in healthy relationships, and how to use the "F#ck it bucket" to differentiate between minor annoyances and larger relational patterns in this engaging and practical video.
In this video, learn why it's important to focus on soothing and supporting kids' emotions before trying to teach them, as strong emotions take energy away from the brain's thinking and processing areas, and how you can use co-regulation and language to help them grow once they've calmed down. Remember to "Connect before you correct," as Dr. Karyn Purvis said.
In this video, learn three tips for navigating difficult moments in relationships, including acknowledging tension, expressing confidence in the relationship, and actively listening to the other person's perspective.