Human beings are wired to co-regulate. Which means that closeness to other people when we are in distress helps our nervous systems to calm and reset.
The words "come here" or "I am here" when used with gentleness and compassion are deeply soothing and can help our loved ones know that their emotional needs are not a burden to us.
Model for them your own consent process, and help them deeply understand the nuance of desire
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In this video, you'll learn that a securely attached young child expresses their distress, seeks proximity to their caregiver, and calms quickly, and that this pattern of express-seek-soothe can be seen throughout our lifespan, with teens seeking friends, adults seeking romantic partners or close friends, but always involving the freedom to have an emotional need, be close, and receive comfort at every stage of life.
Learn how to foster secure attachment with your child by being a consistently responsive and connection-focused parent, and don't beat yourself up for not being perfect - the important thing is to focus on repairing and staying dedicated to the relationship.
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