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Because we identify with our attachment loves (kids, spouses, parents, best friends etc) we are more likely to treat them the same way we treat ourselves.
If you find it easier to be kind and generous with strangers or acquaintances, it is likely about your own lack of self compassion, not something with your loves.
Try being more gentle with yourself and watch what happens with your instincts towards the people who matter most.
In this video, you'll learn about the three phases of healing - reflection, grieving, and growth - that those who did not inherit a secure attachment style can work through in order to learn and earn a secure attachment style.
In this video, you'll learn that effectively reaching out to those we love when feeling disconnected requires us to take ownership of our own feelings, rather than assuming what they feel.
The difference between calm and gentle teaching and permissiveness when addressing problematic behavior in children can be confusing, but punishing a child for their mistakes does not teach them emotional and behavioral maturity; instead, being respectful and patient in drawing boundaries and limits is more effective in teaching children the right way to handle difficult situations.