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Toughness culture is Trauma culture. We don't shut down all our feelings unless something necessitates it. Sometimes that something is a family who has upheld toughness culture for so many generations it doesn't even know what the original trauma was that triggered it. The first step to healing generational trauma is acknowledging the pain and learning how to feel it. That's not weakness. It's badass courage.
Supporting a trauma survivor's felt safety means being present with empathy and patience, providing a space of safety to help calm their dysregulation and offer them a secure and grounding attachment relationship.
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In this heartwarming video, a gate attendant at Denver International Airport demonstrates the incredible power of empathy and patience in de-escalating a tense situation during a 6.5 hour flight delay, highlighting how accepting and understanding a child's emotions (and an adult's) can prevent dangerous behavioral responses and soothe their nervous systems.
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In this video, learn about the power of empathy when dealing with anger, but also be warned about the limits of empathy in the context of abusive mentalities, where anger is used to justify harmful behavior.
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