1.

Instead of Punishing through Time Outs, Regulate through Taking a Break

No items found.

Lots of folks ask me about time outs...

My answer is based on attachment research (predictable mešŸ˜‚).

Taking breaks is hugely important to help our brains reset when we are dysregulated. So YES to the reset and break part of a time out.

But we're adding to their dysregulation if we are trying to teach them by isolating them with shame or pain as a lesson.

Our nervous systems do best when we have calm people lovingly helping us to reset. (co-regulation).

The lesson we want them to learn is "our bodies need breaks sometimes to calm down so our brains can calmly make good safe choices.

Works for marriages too!

ā€

!7maZdGQE

Join the Attachment Nerd Herd

Complete access for $29

Similar to what you just watched

Why it Can Feel Easier to be Kinder to Strangers than to Our Closest People
01:13

In this video, you'll learn that because we identify with our attachment loves, we are more likely to treat them the same way we treat ourselves, and that being more gentle with ourselves can lead to more kindness and generosity towards the people who matter most.

View
Addressing Defiance
01:29

In this video, you'll learn that when facing defiance from children, it's important to avoid grabbing for power and instead seek connection, getting curious about their needs and working with a spirit of compassion to help them, rather than against them.

View
When Your Small Child Hurts Another Child
00:41

In this video, you'll learn why young children may exhibit physical aggression towards others, and why it's important for parents and caregivers to respond with calm and thoughtful guidance rather than harsh punishment.

View