If you are feeling anxious, try focusing on calming your body (deep breathing, hot beverage, warm blanket etc) and watch your thoughts calm. It's much easier to do than the other way around. Our brain works bottom to top, not top to bottom, which is why it is so hard to think your way out of what you feel.
Learn how to foster secure attachment with your child by being a consistently responsive and connection-focused parent, and don't beat yourself up for not being perfect - the important thing is to focus on repairing and staying dedicated to the relationship.
As parents, we want to protect our children from harm, but threats of violence may not be the best way to do so. Instead, we can be a refuge and a barrier for our children, offering comfort and support in times of need.
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In this video, relationship expert explains how the instinct to push away when wanting to be close is called "protest" behavior in attachment research, but in couples counseling, it is often referred to as sabotage, and shares the most effective way to bring your partner close is to express your desire for connection.
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