I want my children to be socially capable. To have the skill sets for interacting with adult authorities, especially their teachers. BUT. I also want them to have the skill sets for recognizing when an adult is abusing their position of power.
This is why I don't teach them that respect equals compliance.
I teach them respect is paying attention. And that if a grown up is guiding you safely and respecting you back, then you continue to respect them.
But if an adult is being hurtful, or creepy, or crossing boundaries that make you uncomfortable, you can come tell me and I will know how respectful you have been, because you really have been paying attention, and you and I will make sure the problematic thing that's being done to you gets addressed.
Don't let anyone tell you that the only way to respect someone is to comply with their every will. Nope, that's not respect, that's abusive control.
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Join your child in their delight and communicate to them that their instincts and preferences are valuable and valid - this is key in developing their self-esteem, and play is the perfect context for learning and bonding.
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In this video, learn how to better support your children's emotional regulation by prioritizing connection over correction.
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Discover why harsh punishments and power and control tactics can create compliance in children through fear and dissociative shutdown, and how these patterns can lead to adult relationships based on power and control or deep self-worth wounds in this eye-opening and insightful video that encourages compassionate limit setting without instilling fear.
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