When our attachment relationships (partners, kids, parents, "my person") involve someone who has lived through a trauma nightmare (or 20)...we need to know the difference between safety and FELT safety.
Trauma f's with a survivor's nervous system and makes it harder to feel safety even when safe.
This is where a secure loving attachment figure is key...you can lend your grounded nervous system to this person by being present to their fear and dysregulation with an empathetic and calm stance. Offer patience and compassion and as they ride whatever wave of panic they are surfing by being WITH them and not pressuring them to feel safe, but being a safe person for them to feel unsafe with.
Eventually your relationship will be a space of safety in a world that is trigger happy to your loved one.
.webp){kind=avatar}
Teaching healthy conflict resolution to our children means modeling it for them, which requires communicating and connecting through conflict without fighting dirty or being violent.
.webp){kind=avatar}
In this video, we learn how attachment experiences can affect the way we process trauma, with empathy and compassion being key to healing and preventing feelings of guilt, blame and shame that can linger long after an event has ended.
.webp){kind=avatar}
In this video, you'll learn about the three phases of healing - reflection, grieving, and growth - that those who did not inherit a secure attachment style can work through in order to learn and earn a secure attachment style.
%402x.svg){kind=icon}