Anger is not dangerous, and it needs empathy and space in our relationships.
But it can be triggering. ESP if we have experienced rage or violence in our journey.
We often treat children feeling anger as if they are behaving badly, but the feeling of anger is a valid and important feeling.
We need to teach our kids (and ourselves) how to feel anger and trust anger and share anger safely.
And when a small child hits when angry, they aren't being violent. They still lack the language to communicate effectively. YES, teach them, intervene and be clear that we use our words to communicate, but instead of shaming them for their anger, help them uncover it and listen to it and learn to communicate the underlying need.
Model for them your own consent process, and help them deeply understand the nuance of desire
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In this video, you'll learn that a securely attached young child expresses their distress, seeks proximity to their caregiver, and calms quickly, and that this pattern of express-seek-soothe can be seen throughout our lifespan, with teens seeking friends, adults seeking romantic partners or close friends, but always involving the freedom to have an emotional need, be close, and receive comfort at every stage of life.
Learn how to foster secure attachment with your child by being a consistently responsive and connection-focused parent, and don't beat yourself up for not being perfect - the important thing is to focus on repairing and staying dedicated to the relationship.
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