One of the most challenging obstacles to taking care of ourselves is asking for what we need from people in our lives who are unwell in their interpersonal patterns.
When someone is unable or unwilling to respect our boundaries they often accuse us of being harsh, or unreasonable, or cruel.
But just because they accuse you of it, doesn't mean it's true.
If you have asked someone to treat you better and they haven't, it isn't cruel to spend less time with them. It's emotional self-care. It's cruel to continue to engage in hurtful behaviors when someone asks you to stop.
I hope all of you in these situations get time during the holidays where your peace is protected from the abusive mindsets of the people in your life who have not yet put in the work to learn safe, vulnerable ways of connecting.
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In this video, you'll learn about self-gaslighting, which is learned from attachment relationships where someone taught you to constantly question your body, reactions, and views on reality, and the importance of acknowledging the trauma and learning to trust your own needs.
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In this video, we learn about the immense responsibility projected onto victims in abusive relationships and how trying to heal the abuser can betray one's own healing.
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In this video, you'll learn how chronic anger and irritation could be a sign of unresolved trauma in your nervous system, and how processing those stories and finding safe spaces to feel grief and powerlessness can be the cure.
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