1.
One of the most challenging obstacles to taking care of ourselves is asking for what we need from people in our lives who are unwell in their interpersonal patterns.
When someone is unable or unwilling to respect our boundaries they often accuse us of being harsh, or unreasonable, or cruel.
But just because they accuse you of it, doesn't mean it's true.
If you have asked someone to treat you better and they haven't, it isn't cruel to spend less time with them. It's emotional self-care. It's cruel to continue to engage in hurtful behaviors when someone asks you to stop.
I hope all of you in these situations get time during the holidays where your peace is protected from the abusive mindsets of the people in your life who have not yet put in the work to learn safe, vulnerable ways of connecting.
Learn why idealization can lead to grandiose pressure and the dangers of love bombing in this insightful video on building trust and secure attachment in relationships.
Learn how to break the cycle of generational trauma and cultivate a secure attachment relationship between you and your child by doing the healing work that you can, trusting the next generation to keep it going.
Learn how to regulate your emotions and offer calm and compassionate support to your child when they are upset, even if you experienced childhood trauma or lack of emotional support from your parents, in this insightful video that emphasizes the importance of parking your inner child in a safe place, attending to their needs, and returning to being the parent your child needs.