Many mothers (and fathers and other caregivers) aren't equipped to give their children secure attachment experiences. They only know to pass on the pattern of relating they received from their caregivers.
Acknowledging this reality doesn't dishonor your parents, or mean that you aren't grateful for all they tried to do for you if.
You can still accept the love they could give and give yourself permission to heal from the insecurity you also inherited from them.
When we let ourselves grieve our attachment wounds, we get to move forward and find more secure people and love in more secure ways, breaking the cycle for the next generation.
(For those of you who know your parents intended you harm, you may have had parents who were sociopathic and it is ok to not want to say "they did the best they could" in your process. Parents intending harm is not the same as trying to do you right but having no clue how ...I see you.)
Learn the power of modeling self-compassion to your kids, as it inspires authenticity and problem-solving, and helps them develop their own self-treatment based on how they see you treat yourself.
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In this video, you'll learn that a securely attached young child expresses their distress, seeks proximity to their caregiver, and calms quickly, and that this pattern of express-seek-soothe can be seen throughout our lifespan, with teens seeking friends, adults seeking romantic partners or close friends, but always involving the freedom to have an emotional need, be close, and receive comfort at every stage of life.
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Learn how to navigate parenting with a partner who is not on the same page as you when it comes to attachment-focused parenting in this enlightening video that emphasizes the importance of starting with connection, collaboration, and modeling instead of trying to persuade or degrade your partner's way of doing things, and seeking support if your partner is abusive.
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