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Because we identify with our attachment loves (kids, spouses, parents, best friends etc) we are more likely to treat them the same way we treat ourselves.
If you find it easier to be kind and generous with strangers or acquaintances, it is likely about your own lack of self compassion, not something with your loves.
Try being more gentle with yourself and watch what happens with your instincts towards the people who matter most.
The most helpful way for a child to understand boundaries is to model it for them, and as parents, we should also honor some of our children's boundaries as well to protect connection and safety, not power.
Learn how to deliver an ultimatum with kindness and honesty, and set healthy boundaries in your relationships, in this insightful video.
In this informative and practical video, learn how emotional flooding can disorient and lead us to push away those we need, and how to use the Letting go/Staying close method to support loved ones during these difficult moments by releasing pressure and standing back while staying open and supportive.