An abusive mentality is one of the hardest addictions for a human being to kick. The stats are staggering. Only 5% of people stuck in an abusive mentality who GET TREATMENT make meaningful changes.
Why is that?
1. Most abusive infections come from a person's childhood so are intertwined in their sense of themselves and the world and have "worked" for them for many years by giving them a false sense of control.
2. The abusive mentality comes with strong narratives justifying its presence, and convincing a person that THEY are the victim despite their behaviors to the contrary.
3. In order for someone to heal from an abusive mentality they have to choose to experience more suffering (vulnerability feels humiliating when you've oriented your world around power and control)
While it's not impossible for someone to heal from this condition, it isn't likely. And if they do it is usually a result of having no other option (ie. People hold them accountable by setting strong boundaries).
Sending love to all of you survivors out there and to the young kids inside the bodies of folks with this condition....I hope someday you get to heal....
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In this video, learn about the risk of relapse for individuals who have been abusive in the past, and the confusion surrounding whether someone has truly changed, as well as the importance of recognizing true change, moving on, and being aware of the signs of abuse.
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Self-hatred is a product of insecure attachment and other traumas, but the first step towards self-love is to grieve and open up to the pain present in your attachment relationships and to see yourself in a new light.
Learn how to break the cycle of generational trauma and cultivate a secure attachment relationship between you and your child by doing the healing work that you can, trusting the next generation to keep it going.
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