Our relationship to our children is an incredible flashlight onto our own well being.
Because our children rely on us and utilize us as a container for their complex emotions, they are likely to hit upon the areas in us that are in need of care.
This can be true for present stuff (like when we are hangry we are going to be far less patient until we get a sandwich in our system).
It is also true for unresolved past stuff. Like the wound of feeling invisible in our family of origin, or the trauma of a narcissistic parent, or our pattern of avoiding conflict etc.
If you find you're getting dysregulated about a particular issue with your child's behavior developmental stage, instead of fixating on how to urgently change them, take a pause and ask yourself this:
What is this trigger telling me about an area of my present or past that needs more care? And what is the care I need and how can I get it met?
For more complex things it might be time to get a caring therapist on board to help you process trauma etc.
May your children be just triggering enough that you get to heal in ways you never imagined, as you continue to play the role of caregiver to their hearts, needs, and developing journeys.
In this video, you'll learn how to treat emotional pain with the same level of compassion as physical pain, and why showing empathy towards someone's emotions is crucial for their well-being.
If you didn't have a secure attachment style in childhood, you're not alone. Here are three phases of healing you can work through to change your patterns of relating and build new, secure relationships.
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In this video, learn how to properly respond when your child falls or gets hurt, by tuning into their reaction and responding accordingly without overreacting or dismissing their feelings.
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