Our relationship to our children is an incredible flashlight onto our own well being.
Because our children rely on us and utilize us as a container for their complex emotions, they are likely to hit upon the areas in us that are in need of care.
This can be true for present stuff (like when we are hangry we are going to be far less patient until we get a sandwich in our system).
It is also true for unresolved past stuff. Like the wound of feeling invisible in our family of origin, or the trauma of a narcissistic parent, or our pattern of avoiding conflict etc.
If you find you're getting dysregulated about a particular issue with your child's behavior developmental stage, instead of fixating on how to urgently change them, take a pause and ask yourself this:
What is this trigger telling me about an area of my present or past that needs more care? And what is the care I need and how can I get it met?
For more complex things it might be time to get a caring therapist on board to help you process trauma etc.
May your children be just triggering enough that you get to heal in ways you never imagined, as you continue to play the role of caregiver to their hearts, needs, and developing journeys.
Discover evidence-based techniques for helping children process traumatic events in a healthy way, including encouraging them to tell their story and avoiding avoidance, with guidance from expert Dr. Dan Siegel and clinical experience.
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In this video, you'll learn about self-gaslighting, which is learned from attachment relationships where someone taught you to constantly question your body, reactions, and views on reality, and the importance of acknowledging the trauma and learning to trust your own needs.
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Learn how to help your child process their emotions and build a deeper connection with them by following these three simple tips, which can help switch their neurochemistry from panic or despair to safety and connection.
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