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Our relationship to our children is an incredible flashlight onto our own well being.
Because our children rely on us and utilize us as a container for their complex emotions, they are likely to hit upon the areas in us that are in need of care.
This can be true for present stuff (like when we are hangry we are going to be far less patient until we get a sandwich in our system).
It is also true for unresolved past stuff. Like the wound of feeling invisible in our family of origin, or the trauma of a narcissistic parent, or our pattern of avoiding conflict etc.
If you find you're getting dysregulated about a particular issue with your child's behavior developmental stage, instead of fixating on how to urgently change them, take a pause and ask yourself this:
What is this trigger telling me about an area of my present or past that needs more care? And what is the care I need and how can I get it met?
For more complex things it might be time to get a caring therapist on board to help you process trauma etc.
May your children be just triggering enough that you get to heal in ways you never imagined, as you continue to play the role of caregiver to their hearts, needs, and developing journeys.
Learn the power of modeling self-compassion to your kids, as it inspires authenticity and problem-solving, and helps them develop their own self-treatment based on how they see you treat yourself.
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In this emotional video, the speaker shares the heartbreaking news that their beloved aunt Janis, who has battled cancer for over two decades, is now in her last days, and they reflect on the impact she has had on their life and the grief that they and their family are experiencing.
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Learn how to set compassionate limits with your child in a way that benefits their brain development and reduces reactive responses to emotions, with the timing varying depending on factors such as age, hunger, and consistency.
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