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The way we make meaning about our children's behavior is a huge component of whether or not they will have a secure attachment experience with us.
When we help our children see the needs beneath their behavior we give them the opportunity to learn how to articulate their needs instead of acting them out.
It is not enabling a child to help them see the dignified need beneath a problematic behavior. It is empowering them. This is the crux of a secure parent child dynamic.
In this video, the speaker shares how their mother broke the cycle of attachment trauma by letting go of guilt and control, leading to a loving and secure relationship that transcended generations of abuse.
In this video, you'll learn that human beings are wired to co-regulate, and that words like "come here" or "I am here" used with gentleness and compassion can be deeply soothing and help our loved ones know that their emotional needs are not a burden to us.
Model for them your own consent process, and help them deeply understand the nuance of desire