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Toughness culture is Trauma culture. We don't shut down all our feelings unless something necessitates it. Sometimes that something is a family who has upheld toughness culture for so many generations it doesn't even know what the original trauma was that triggered it. The first step to healing generational trauma is acknowledging the pain and learning how to feel it. That's not weakness. It's badass courage.
The idea of toughening up your children to deal with the world only makes you their first bully, stripping them of their sense of belonging with you; treat your children with respect and connection so that they instinctively protect themselves from unkind and cruel treatment.
In this video, you'll learn how chronic anger and irritation could be a sign of unresolved trauma in your nervous system, and how processing those stories and finding safe spaces to feel grief and powerlessness can be the cure.
Teaching healthy conflict resolution to our children means modeling it for them, which requires communicating and connecting through conflict without fighting dirty or being violent.