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When someone has been abusive in the past they are at high risk for relapse. It is also confusing to know if someone has truly changed because the abuse cycle includes a honeymoon that masquerades as change but is really just
the relief that comes after a big eruption.
True change is quite remarkable. And takes a ton of time and concerted efforts.
AND even if someone does change, it's ok to move on and wish them well.
Remember that the disease of abuse is highly infectious and makes it extremely hard for people to heal. Not impossible, but not probable.
The signs though will be evident!
Supporting a trauma survivor's felt safety means being present with empathy and patience, providing a space of safety to help calm their dysregulation and offer them a secure and grounding attachment relationship.
Learn about the two sources that drive the desire to always be around people, natural extraversion and trauma response, and how recognizing the latter can help you find rest in solitude and process past relationships in this insightful video.
In this video, learn about the complexities of attachment relationships and why sibling gaslighting based on shared experiences may not be accurate.