There are very few things quite as painful as being deep in contempt with the people you love. This insecure conflict pattern has a surprising root though that gives us a clear path forward for addressing the issue ... All contempt grows out of shame.
When we fear that we are bad (shame), our brains flip the narrative onto whoever we are upset with or feel threatened by, they become bad (contempt).
When you feel deep contempt with your partner or other attachment figures, ask yourself, "what shame am I afraid to address here?".
Then bring that shame as vulnerability to your partner so that you can work through your rupture with safe open communication and compassion.
.webp){kind=avatar}
In this video, the presenter discusses two potential reasons for constantly feeling insecure in a romantic relationship and provides solutions for each, including moving on if the partner isn't right or putting in the work to internalize the love you have if you have an anxious preoccupied attachment style.
.webp){kind=avatar}
In this video, the speaker discusses the challenges of managing anger when recovering from a childhood where anger was out of control, but emphasizes that anger is a normal and necessary feeling, and our children need empathy and support to learn how to manage it, rather than being labeled as abusive. Additionally, the speaker suggests seeking care to separate past trauma responses from present situations for both yourself and your children's wellbeing.
.webp){kind=avatar}
In this video, you'll learn about the cycle of abuse, how it can affect your relationships, and a helpful strategy for finding peace without resorting to destructive patterns.
%402x.svg){kind=icon}