There are very few things quite as painful as being deep in contempt with the people you love. This insecure conflict pattern has a surprising root though that gives us a clear path forward for addressing the issue ... All contempt grows out of shame.
When we fear that we are bad (shame), our brains flip the narrative onto whoever we are upset with or feel threatened by, they become bad (contempt).
When you feel deep contempt with your partner or other attachment figures, ask yourself, "what shame am I afraid to address here?".
Then bring that shame as vulnerability to your partner so that you can work through your rupture with safe open communication and compassion.
.webp){kind=avatar}
In this video, you'll learn that because we identify with our attachment loves, we are more likely to treat them the same way we treat ourselves, and that being more gentle with ourselves can lead to more kindness and generosity towards the people who matter most.
.webp){kind=avatar}
In this video, you'll learn that if you struggle with big emotions and tend to withdraw, you may have grown up with an anxious-avoidant attachment style, but that this can be worked on by learning to tolerate your own feelings and be present when emotions arise, leading to beautiful connected moments.
.webp){kind=avatar}
In this video, you'll learn about the cycle of abuse, how it can affect your relationships, and a helpful strategy for finding peace without resorting to destructive patterns.
%402x.svg){kind=icon}