As parents, it is our job to keep our children as safe and empowered as we can. And one of the most pervasive threats to their well being is sexual abuse and trauma.
Just like how we make sure our kids are buckled up in the car so that if we get in an accident they will be less injured, we can do things to help secure our children in case they experience abuse from an adult or another child.
I give this "talk" to anyone who watches my children when they are young and without me there. My family members, close friends, babysitters and teachers.
It helps to signal to any adult predators that I am watching and my kids have the language and tools to have a basic understanding if someone attempts to or sexually abuse them. I think of it as pedophile repellant.
While we can't guarantee that no one will ever harm our children in this way, we can warn predators and we can guarantee our children have the language to talk about it and the parents who will believe them if they do. Those are very power resources and can work in the prevention and the healing of childhood sexual abuse.
In this video, the speaker emphasizes the importance of attuning to children's inner world to build a secure attachment and suggests occasionally checking in with kids about their needs for love and affection, particularly during developmental leaps, to ensure that the love we give them is getting through in the way we intend it to.
Model for them your own consent process, and help them deeply understand the nuance of desire
In this video, the speaker criticizes the "stranger danger" approach to child safety, arguing that it neglects the fact that most child abuse occurs at the hands of people the child knows and trusts, and instead provides six signs of potentially abusive behavior to teach children to be on the lookout for.