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There is no right way to show yourself love. There are many many ways to nurture your body and soul...the key is listening and tuning in to what your body and heart are telling you about what you need.
Supporting a trauma survivor's felt safety means being present with empathy and patience, providing a space of safety to help calm their dysregulation and offer them a secure and grounding attachment relationship.
Self-hatred is a product of insecure attachment and other traumas, but the first step towards self-love is to grieve and open up to the pain present in your attachment relationships and to see yourself in a new light.
Avoid focusing too much on fairness when teaching kids, as it can create a belief that good behavior is always rewarded and bad behavior is always punished, leading to the dangerous belief that they deserve any trauma they experience, instead use relational motivation to guide them towards making good choices.