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For all of the fathers out there doing the work to connect with your children, keep going.
In a world that is filled with wounded men who never had the chance to experience empathy and connection in their own childhoods, your children desperately need you to show them what a healthy, connected, caring male looks like.
I know this is not an easy ask. That the world around you (and probably your own growing up experiences) will mock you in your attempts to be tender and kind instead of seeking control and dominance.
But you won't regret it. Your children will trust you. And run into your arms and rely on you as a safe haven and a secure base. There is truly no triumph in life greater than the success of being a secure attachment figure for your children.
Connection is what creates resilience for both your children, and for you.
In this video, relationship expert explains how the instinct to push away when wanting to be close is called "protest" behavior in attachment research, but in couples counseling, it is often referred to as sabotage, and shares the most effective way to bring your partner close is to express your desire for connection.
Discover how to build a closer relationship with someone who has an avoidant attachment style by understanding their fear of burdening others with their emotions and needs, and by showing up for them in small ways in this compassionate and insightful video.
In this video, learn why it's important for parents who grew up with trauma or without secure attachment to be mindful of not overcorrecting their kids, and how to give themselves space to process their past pains so they can accurately meet their child's needs.