Idealization is not kind. It's grandiose pressure. The only reason someone wants to meld their life with you before getting the chance to get to know you is because they feel desperate.
That love bombing can feel really nice at first, but remember to teach your kids that it is a setup. All idealization leads eventually to devaluation, because your humanness will appear and shatter their idealization of you.
The work of secure attachment involves taking the time to BUILD trust and get to know each other...not jumping into a deep end without knowing what lies under it.
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Teach your kids to ask, "Is this okay?" and look for a clear and enthusiastic yes, even if someone seems reserved or quiet, to ensure that all affection is confirmed and enthusiastic.
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In this powerful video, learn how to differentiate between empathy and pity, and why cultivating empathy is essential for healing broken attachment relationships from childhood.
Learn how to break the cycle of generational trauma and cultivate a secure attachment relationship between you and your child by doing the healing work that you can, trusting the next generation to keep it going.
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