One of the most prevalent fallacies in human development is the idea that if you respond attentively to your young children, it will form them into weak self-centered dependent adults.
The research indicates the exact opposite. When children experience emotional attunement and responsiveness from their caregivers it helps them feel safe, which in turn helps their brain develop more awareness and complex focus in relationships. When children's emotional needs are ignored, they develop heightened fear states that make it hard for them to learn the nuances of relationships. (check out the strange situation studies, and Es Tronick's Still Face Experiment, and the Adult Attachment Interview, and all the longitudinal studies done with all three tools).
You aren't spoiling your child when you comfort them, hold them, respond to them, and treat them with the same respect you would want in a difficult or need based moment.
Ignore the judgment and follow your instincts for care. I promise you won't regret it.
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In this informative and practical video, learn how emotional flooding can disorient and lead us to push away those we need, and how to use the Letting go/Staying close method to support loved ones during these difficult moments by releasing pressure and standing back while staying open and supportive.
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In this video, learn how to better support your children's emotional regulation by prioritizing connection over correction.
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In this video, learn how parents can positively influence their children by taking responsibility for their own nervous system and modeling calmness, which can lead to better parenting choices and improved relationships, ultimately creating a positive impact on children's behavior and wellbeing.
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