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One of the most important ingredients for a secure attachment with our children is our capacity to attune to their inner world.
And one specific area they need us to attune to is whether or not the love we are giving them is coming thru the way we intend it to.
By occasionally (please not every minute of every day!!!) checking in with our kids about what they are needing to feel our love, we can get in sync with them so that the love we are putting out is getting all the way in.
This is especially important during developmental leaps. When our kids grow into new stages they can grow out of our old patterns of affection and need us to acclimate to their current preferences and needs.
When we show our kids we care more about our impact on them than defending our intentions we cultivate some incredible trust.
Affection Check In for the win!
Learn about the concept of Restraint Collapse and how children rely on their attachment relationship to express their emotions in this insightful video, which provides tips on how to offer compassion and a safe space for your kids to release their emotional tensions after holding it together all day.
Learn how to regulate your emotions and offer calm and compassionate support to your child when they are upset, even if you experienced childhood trauma or lack of emotional support from your parents, in this insightful video that emphasizes the importance of parking your inner child in a safe place, attending to their needs, and returning to being the parent your child needs.
This video explains the reasons why young children may slam doors and offers tips on how to handle the situation with calmness, compassion, and understanding.