One of the most important ingredients for a secure attachment with our children is our capacity to attune to their inner world.
And one specific area they need us to attune to is whether or not the love we are giving them is coming thru the way we intend it to.
By occasionally (please not every minute of every day!!!) checking in with our kids about what they are needing to feel our love, we can get in sync with them so that the love we are putting out is getting all the way in.
This is especially important during developmental leaps. When our kids grow into new stages they can grow out of our old patterns of affection and need us to acclimate to their current preferences and needs.
When we show our kids we care more about our impact on them than defending our intentions we cultivate some incredible trust.
Affection Check In for the win!
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Avoid focusing too much on fairness when teaching kids, as it can create a belief that good behavior is always rewarded and bad behavior is always punished, leading to the dangerous belief that they deserve any trauma they experience, instead use relational motivation to guide them towards making good choices.
Hey there! In this video, I'm sharing a personal story about how I learned the importance of fixing things in parent-child relationships. I talk about owning up to my mistakes, listening to my kid's feelings, and making things right. Remember, it's okay to mess up; just be patient and don't be too hard on yourself. We're all in this together!
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Engage with your teen by giving them airtime and genuine curiosity to share their perspectives, allowing them to feel heard and seen, which will make them respect you more and see you as an ally in their maturing process.
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