When a child asks you a question about a BIG or adult topic remember this:
1. Be honest
2. Be age appropriate
3. Answer in a way that conveys your role as someone who cares for them
It can feel overwhelming when kids ask questions about topics that we feel overwhelmed by. The key to having these moments and in connection instead of overwhelm is to remain calm, give them the amount of truth you can sense they are ready to handle, and always follow up the big conversations with the reassurance that you are there for them and they don't have to handle any big things alone.
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Avoid focusing too much on fairness when teaching kids, as it can create a belief that good behavior is always rewarded and bad behavior is always punished, leading to the dangerous belief that they deserve any trauma they experience, instead use relational motivation to guide them towards making good choices.
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In this video, you'll learn how chronic anger and irritation could be a sign of unresolved trauma in your nervous system, and how processing those stories and finding safe spaces to feel grief and powerlessness can be the cure.
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In this video, the speaker discusses time outs from a perspective based on attachment research, emphasizing the importance of taking breaks to help reset our brains when we are dysregulated and the need for calm co-regulation rather than isolating with shame or pain as a lesson, adding that the lesson we want to teach is that our bodies need breaks sometimes to calm down so our brains can make good, safe choices - and this lesson applies to marriages as well!
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