Watch out for focusing too much on fairness as a teaching tool when your kids are little..
It creates a belief in their minds that all good behavior gets rewarded and bad behavior gets punished...that the world is just and orderly....this is a huge liability if they are exposed to trauma. Their conclusion becomes "I must have deserved this".
This belief is called The Just World Belief and is correlated with higher levels of PTSD in combat vets and SA survivors.
Instead of focusing on them being bad or good or fair...use relational motivation to help them make good choices..."sharing with our friends makes enjoying things more fun". "Taking turns helps us learn patience" etc. "It feels good to have a clean room and know where our things are"
And always send the message when they are in pain that you are there for them and don't think they caused it or deserves it.
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Teaching healthy conflict resolution to our children means modeling it for them, which requires communicating and connecting through conflict without fighting dirty or being violent.
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In this relatable and comforting video, parents are reminded to focus on minimizing damage and staying calm during meltdowns, even when they go viral, and to practice compassion towards themselves and others during these challenging times.
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Learn how to effectively manage anxiety by calming your body and watching your thoughts follow suit - discover why it's easier to work from the bottom up rather than the top down with this insightful video.
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