When our attachment relationships (partners, kids, parents, "my person") involve someone who has lived through a trauma nightmare (or 20)...we need to know the difference between safety and FELT safety.
Trauma f's with a survivor's nervous system and makes it harder to feel safety even when safe.
This is where a secure loving attachment figure is key...you can lend your grounded nervous system to this person by being present to their fear and dysregulation with an empathetic and calm stance. Offer patience and compassion and as they ride whatever wave of panic they are surfing by being WITH them and not pressuring them to feel safe, but being a safe person for them to feel unsafe with.
Eventually your relationship will be a space of safety in a world that is trigger happy to your loved one.
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In this video, we learn how attachment experiences can affect the way we process trauma, with empathy and compassion being key to healing and preventing feelings of guilt, blame and shame that can linger long after an event has ended.
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In this emotional video, the speaker shares the heartbreaking news that their beloved aunt Janis, who has battled cancer for over two decades, is now in her last days, and they reflect on the impact she has had on their life and the grief that they and their family are experiencing.
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In this video, you'll learn that effectively reaching out to those we love when feeling disconnected requires us to take ownership of our own feelings, rather than assuming what they feel.
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