When our attachment relationships (partners, kids, parents, "my person") involve someone who has lived through a trauma nightmare (or 20)...we need to know the difference between safety and FELT safety.
Trauma f's with a survivor's nervous system and makes it harder to feel safety even when safe.
This is where a secure loving attachment figure is key...you can lend your grounded nervous system to this person by being present to their fear and dysregulation with an empathetic and calm stance. Offer patience and compassion and as they ride whatever wave of panic they are surfing by being WITH them and not pressuring them to feel safe, but being a safe person for them to feel unsafe with.
Eventually your relationship will be a space of safety in a world that is trigger happy to your loved one.
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Learn the importance of letting go of small things in healthy relationships, and how to use the "F#ck it bucket" to differentiate between minor annoyances and larger relational patterns in this engaging and practical video.
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This video offers insightful perspective and tools for healing from inherited attachment wounds, acknowledging the realities of our caregivers' patterns while breaking the cycle for future generations
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In this video, learn how to practice emotional self-care by setting healthy boundaries with people in your life who are unable or unwilling to respect them, and how to recognize that it's not cruel to spend less time with them in order to protect your peace.
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