When our attachment relationships (partners, kids, parents, "my person") involve someone who has lived through a trauma nightmare (or 20)...we need to know the difference between safety and FELT safety.
Trauma f's with a survivor's nervous system and makes it harder to feel safety even when safe.
This is where a secure loving attachment figure is key...you can lend your grounded nervous system to this person by being present to their fear and dysregulation with an empathetic and calm stance. Offer patience and compassion and as they ride whatever wave of panic they are surfing by being WITH them and not pressuring them to feel safe, but being a safe person for them to feel unsafe with.
Eventually your relationship will be a space of safety in a world that is trigger happy to your loved one.
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In this video, we'll explore some tips on how to have a difficult yet crucial conversation with someone who's struggling with drugs and alcohol, so you can help them thrive in life and relationships.
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This video offers insightful perspective and tools for healing from inherited attachment wounds, acknowledging the realities of our caregivers' patterns while breaking the cycle for future generations
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In this video, learn about the complexities of attachment relationships and why sibling gaslighting based on shared experiences may not be accurate.
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