When our attachment relationships (partners, kids, parents, "my person") involve someone who has lived through a trauma nightmare (or 20)...we need to know the difference between safety and FELT safety.
Trauma f's with a survivor's nervous system and makes it harder to feel safety even when safe.
This is where a secure loving attachment figure is key...you can lend your grounded nervous system to this person by being present to their fear and dysregulation with an empathetic and calm stance. Offer patience and compassion and as they ride whatever wave of panic they are surfing by being WITH them and not pressuring them to feel safe, but being a safe person for them to feel unsafe with.
Eventually your relationship will be a space of safety in a world that is trigger happy to your loved one.
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Learn the importance of letting go of small things in healthy relationships, and how to use the "F#ck it bucket" to differentiate between minor annoyances and larger relational patterns in this engaging and practical video.
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This video discusses the importance of self-love as a radical stance in a world that often encourages self-sacrifice, and emphasizes how loving yourself is a necessity for taking care of your body and self in a world that won't always do that for you.
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In this video, learn about the risk of relapse for individuals who have been abusive in the past, and the confusion surrounding whether someone has truly changed, as well as the importance of recognizing true change, moving on, and being aware of the signs of abuse.
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