When our attachment relationships (partners, kids, parents, "my person") involve someone who has lived through a trauma nightmare (or 20)...we need to know the difference between safety and FELT safety.
Trauma f's with a survivor's nervous system and makes it harder to feel safety even when safe.
This is where a secure loving attachment figure is key...you can lend your grounded nervous system to this person by being present to their fear and dysregulation with an empathetic and calm stance. Offer patience and compassion and as they ride whatever wave of panic they are surfing by being WITH them and not pressuring them to feel safe, but being a safe person for them to feel unsafe with.
Eventually your relationship will be a space of safety in a world that is trigger happy to your loved one.
.webp){kind=avatar}
Discover the truth about toughness culture and generational trauma as we explore how acknowledging pain and learning to feel it can be the first step towards healing in this eye-opening video.
Discover evidence-based techniques for helping children process traumatic events in a healthy way, including encouraging them to tell their story and avoiding avoidance, with guidance from expert Dr. Dan Siegel and clinical experience.
.webp){kind=avatar}
In this video, discover the difference between despair tears and grief tears, and how allowing yourself to grieve with caring others can lead to emotional healing and the ability to move forward from trauma and loss.
%402x.svg){kind=icon}