When our attachment relationships (partners, kids, parents, "my person") involve someone who has lived through a trauma nightmare (or 20)...we need to know the difference between safety and FELT safety.
Trauma f's with a survivor's nervous system and makes it harder to feel safety even when safe.
This is where a secure loving attachment figure is key...you can lend your grounded nervous system to this person by being present to their fear and dysregulation with an empathetic and calm stance. Offer patience and compassion and as they ride whatever wave of panic they are surfing by being WITH them and not pressuring them to feel safe, but being a safe person for them to feel unsafe with.
Eventually your relationship will be a space of safety in a world that is trigger happy to your loved one.
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Discover the truth about toughness culture and generational trauma as we explore how acknowledging pain and learning to feel it can be the first step towards healing in this eye-opening video.
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Learn how to effectively manage anxiety by calming your body and watching your thoughts follow suit - discover why it's easier to work from the bottom up rather than the top down with this insightful video.
Learn how to give an effective apology by understanding the impact of your actions and making a sincere effort to repair the relationship, rather than simply saying "I'm sorry”
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