Isn't research cool? This neuroscience study really validates what so many teen parents are feeling....a shift away from their child's interest in the parent relationship and towards peers.
This doesn't mean they have stopped needing you, or relying on you (especially in those big overwhelming moments), but that they are developing a new set of experiences necessary for their eventual launch.
Hang in there. Even if it's a brain based shift, it isn't easy!
https://www.sciencenews.org/article/mom-voice-kid-brain-teen-neuroscience
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The myth that comforting your child will "spoil" them is not only emotionally harmful but also creates an altered brain state that leads to higher levels of stress and mental illness in adulthood, giving them compassion and comfort will only help them develop a healthier brain function.
The idea of toughening up your children to deal with the world only makes you their first bully, stripping them of their sense of belonging with you; treat your children with respect and connection so that they instinctively protect themselves from unkind and cruel treatment.
Learn how to break the cycle of generational trauma and cultivate a secure attachment relationship between you and your child by doing the healing work that you can, trusting the next generation to keep it going.
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