1.

Instead of Punishing through Time Outs, Regulate through Taking a Break

No items found.

Lots of folks ask me about time outs...

My answer is based on attachment research (predictable mešŸ˜‚).

Taking breaks is hugely important to help our brains reset when we are dysregulated. So YES to the reset and break part of a time out.

But we're adding to their dysregulation if we are trying to teach them by isolating them with shame or pain as a lesson.

Our nervous systems do best when we have calm people lovingly helping us to reset. (co-regulation).

The lesson we want them to learn is "our bodies need breaks sometimes to calm down so our brains can calmly make good safe choices.

Works for marriages too!

ā€

!7maZdGQE

Join the Attachment Nerd Herd

Complete access for $29

Similar to what you just watched

Join Kids In What Brings Them Delight
01:15

Join your child in their delight and communicate to them that their instincts and preferences are valuable and valid - this is key in developing their self-esteem, and play is the perfect context for learning and bonding.

View
When Your Kid Can Tell You are Struggling
01:13

Learn how to provide honest and appropriate answers to your kids' tough questions about adult struggles, without being dismissive or intrusive, by focusing on your child's needs and taking care of their heart in this insightful video.

View
What Your Dog Can Teach You About Making Your Kid Feel Worthy
1:00

Parenting can be hard. You want to do everything you can to make your kid feel worthy, but sometimes it feels like you're just not sure what to do. Luckily, dogs offer some great advice!

View