1.

Instead of Punishing through Time Outs, Regulate through Taking a Break

No items found.

Lots of folks ask me about time outs...

My answer is based on attachment research (predictable mešŸ˜‚).

Taking breaks is hugely important to help our brains reset when we are dysregulated. So YES to the reset and break part of a time out.

But we're adding to their dysregulation if we are trying to teach them by isolating them with shame or pain as a lesson.

Our nervous systems do best when we have calm people lovingly helping us to reset. (co-regulation).

The lesson we want them to learn is "our bodies need breaks sometimes to calm down so our brains can calmly make good safe choices.

Works for marriages too!

ā€

!7maZdGQE

Join the Attachment Nerd Herd

Complete access for $29

Similar to what you just watched

How to Help Children Find Their Words After an Emotional Moment
01:28

In this video, learn why telling your child to "use their words" during an emotional moment may not be effective and how to communicate non-verbally to support them in regulating their emotions.

View
The Neuroscience of What Harsh Punishment Does to a Child
01:28

Discover why harsh punishments and power and control tactics can create compliance in children through fear and dissociative shutdown, and how these patterns can lead to adult relationships based on power and control or deep self-worth wounds in this eye-opening and insightful video that encourages compassionate limit setting without instilling fear.

View
Responsiveness Does Not Spoil Children
01:21

Discover why responding attentively to your young children won't make them weak, self-centered and dependent adults, as research shows that emotional attunement and responsiveness from caregivers helps children feel safe and develop better awareness and focus in relationships, whereas ignoring their emotional needs leads to heightened fear states that make it hard for them to learn the nuances of relationships - check out the recommended studies to learn more and trust your instincts for care.

View